2011

these few days, have been the hardest days. Unpleasant family, exams, and so on. Seriously, i feel rather depressed. Perhaps, if i don't think realistically i could go mad. Actually, I really wanna be alone for some time, i wanna have some spare time for myself, to evaluate every single thing that i had done in 2010. Nonetheless, i know i wouldn't have that precious time , at least for now. Since, i still have many responsibilities, either its family or school. there were times, that i wanna give up and make time stop. But again, i know i can't. Time keeps going on and all i can do just adapt myself into it. But, although this new year is ( again ) hardly special, or i could say not special at all. I have a wish that one day, i could achieve my dream to be a good dentist, entrepreneur , skilled writer and many more , a great one of course. I really hope that all my sacrifice  for now won't be a waste. I really have so many dreams i wanna be rich, make my parents happy, help the poor and have some spare time just for myself. I really wish that what i'm doing now is not such a waste. I hope all my dreams would come true. And i believe if we wanna work hard, so God will open the " lucky door " for us. I have already given up the love thingy, really, i guess i would be okay if i don't have a couple for the rest of my life. that's really all right , but i just wanna God help me in achieving all my dreams. This is really something for me, only these dreams which could make me survive for 18 years of my life. I don't have anything, i just have these beautiful dreams. And i wish God can help me in accomplishing my dreams. Start tomorrow, I will work hard, harder than anyone else !!! i believe, if i wanna work hard , God will make it true !! and i Believe I caN !! Fighting !! bassya !!! you can do it met !!!!!!!!!!!!! ^^

p.s : you will achieve you biggest dreams one day. you will ! 2011!! fighting !!! you can do it !!

Ayaka Lida : okaeri....( she is a great singer ) ^^

i really like this song,,this song reminds me of  warm feelings,,it feels like you are in a place where you own that place and feel happy about it..it's really a nice song ^^

of course, i have so many issues which i need to deal with,but it will never stop me from getting what i want..maybe my expectations about my shoes are going too high, even so.i would just never give up...it's hard for me to like something...but once i like it i will never want to lose it..and i won't acknowledge lost if i haven't tried it...simple..

you know,I'm not that smart, pretty or even talented ,,however, i have something that maybe the others don't have. : THE WILLINGNESS TO HAVE SOMETHING AND MAKE IT BIG ... i realize I LOVE PERFECTION AND EVEN IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE IT, I STILL MAKE IT MY LIFESTYLE.... ( the greens show that i love my high school so bad !! )

Perfection makes me now,,if..only if one day i become successful , i will never forget what i am now and how i am ... me is still myself,,it wouldn't change to anything,,even if some alteration would be needed hehe..

but,,i will know deep inside my heart, i wouldn't change,no matter how rich or how great I'm...

I'm still me..........

wish me luck guys..!!!

God bless ^^

I really don't know if i need to stop or not.
i was so hopeless in every aspect..
first, it's about my shoes, i feel so tired to cover all these things,,it's like i'm alone and i have no one to give me some aid..
i'm near to death..i think everything that i do is so useless...it's not fair..i work hard for this and i get nothing in return..do i demand too much????? 
second,,i was planning to forget about everything about her,,i was planning to..but i don't have any strength to do that,,deep inside of me i still hate her and everything that she has,
why, she also takes away my friends,,she is such a biatch !!!
often, i really wanna kill her and make her saying sorry ,,begging for forgiveness and disappear from my sight, i absolutely want to..
i just wanna live in a world,,far far and far away,,where i can't she her and all the people that i hate,,i gathered much hatred and i wanna just throw it..but.i can't,too many people who make me disappointed .i will never ever forgive them and i'm planning to bring this hatred till i die..by that time,,i will make sure.THAT THEY CANNOT BEAT ME......YOU ARE FUCKERS.
it's a promise..one day all of you will regret it...you will.

Today, i was really jealous and feeling little. Actually it has happened yesterday, but now, i'm feeling it again. Seeing ADe and Vicky shu,,really makes me feel jealous, they are beautiful , smart, and succeed..i'm wondering,,when i could be like that,,i feel like a mouse in front of them..seeing them shining so brightly ,,they are really my idol...i really  wanna be like Ade or Vicky shu..they are talented in art..i don't have any talent like that. i know..but, i think i have some talent in ..............( don't need to tell )hehehe.. let it be my secret..

they are great people..i really admire them,,but i think if i work hard and focus on my goal,,one day,, i don't know when,,i could be like them.. ^^..in order to meet my dream, i need to work hard, keep my spirit on and never give up also always pray..i know GOd must be having some great plans for me,,and i have to get it..i wanna make my family specially may parents  and my brother proud of me..i also wanna make me proud to myself..rather nuts huh???
 but,i'm not just going to give,,i';; show to the world,,who i really am...i really don't mind to work hard..as long as it will create something..it's okay for me...
God please help me to pas these difficult moments..i believe you would help me,,let me be strong and always count on you no matter happens, i believe you would never let me down..
please help me God..please,,i just wish that Fernanda is not lying..i really wish..please help me God..^^
thanks a lot..^^

Seller ^^

hhhh,,sebelumnya g ga perna taw rasanya jadi org jualan kyk apa..

cenderung ga menghargai,,meremehkan bahkan ngejek n ngehina hina org jualan ,,

kyk education sales,,dll,,tapis ejak jual sepatu,,g taw rasanya..

uhhh sebel bgt begitu ada org janji bayar ternyaat ga bayar atau ud nuduh2 kita malah ga jadi beli juga...bete n maw nagis rasanya saking frustasi,,,

nah,,mungkin itu juga yg ud g lakukan ke org lain ,,ngasi brosur langsung g buang, nelponn ttg kuliah lgsg  dimatiin atau ditolak atau malah lebih parah,,berbohong!!!!!! benar2 dehh!!!

tapi skrg g akan coab utk menghargai n lebih merasa ama org itu2,,mereka juga nyari duit sama kyk g.,bahkan mungkin mereka nanggung beban yang lebih berat drpada g,,walaupun g merasa beban g juga berat..g taw n sadar,, g ga boleh meremehkan mereka,,jualan ga gampang lo!!! susahnya setengah mati,,itulah kenapa mereka yg jualan apa ajah,,kdg ampe nelpon2 ke rumah atau ke hp,,sering bgtt..itu sipaa lagy kalau bukan buat keluarganya..!! salut buat mereka...

Mulia sekarang g akan bersikap lebih baik lagy,,g ga maw meremehkan mereka,,g akan bilang maw kalau mmg mau n nolak baik2 kalau mmg ga maw,,,g sadar perjuangan mereka baik yg sales dll,,berat luar biasa..dan g belum apa2 dibandingkan mereka..tapi satu impian g..menciptakan peluang kerja bagi banyak org n memberikan yg terbaik bg semua org ..membuat mereka senang.,n ga lupa juga bagi ama yg butuh ..

g ga boleh sombong karena ini semua Tuhan yg kerj,,bukan g...

semoga bisinis sepatu dr afrika lancar yah..haha..

thanks God..love you a lot..haha^^..muach2..

Nite..^^

wuahh...senangnya,,,
semua berjalan lancr..mulai dr urusan pembayaran,, segala macam,bisa berjalan dengan baik,,,
duh makasih yah Tuhan...i'm super glad,,^^

senang bgt rasanya kalo semua berjalan lancar,,ini semua ga akna mungkin terjadi kalau bukan Tuhan yang bekerja,,kaalu mengandalkan kemmapuan aku sendiri,,ga mungkin ini bisa berhasil ^^
tapi karena Tuhan bner2 membantu aku,..ini semua bs lancar,,pas detik2 terakir,,pertolongan Tuahn mmg ga perna salah deh ^^,,mantab sekali dy,,I love him..
Sekarang new problem is pembuatannya !!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Duh,,serba stress,,mikirin sms yg ga dibls trus juga takut hasilnya ga sesuai mauku...duh takut bgt deh !!
tapi i believe n sekali lagy minta tlg tangan tuhan pulihkan semua,,aku percaya di balik semua ini 99% tangan Tuhan bekerja,,satu persennya usaha nge-tag org..hehehe.
Tuhan bener2 luar biasa..saat kita butuh n berserah,,dy bener2 menolong kita..
Aku ga aw jauh2 dr Dia lagy,,karena sama2 dia,,semuanya lancar n baik2 ajah..wuahhhh,,senangnya ^^
haha,,
Tuhan,,,mg2 Ade eva bisa respon yah...
thx bgt Tuhannnnnnnnn,,aku takut deh ^^...Tlg yah tengkyu bgtt ^^

i need to succeed

Otuke??? Living with my family seems so boring..I even feel hating them..for a little..
keluhan2nya..marah2nya,,masalahnya..hhhh...kyknya ud basi bgt kyknya,,, ud bosen sebosen-bosennya ama mereka...sometimes,,i really wanna get out from this house..it feels like i'm in prison..it's just one day..i wanna have my own house, live my own life, and do what i wanna do..i wanna be free..so now, i need to work hard..very2 hard to accomplish all those things..the things that i'm dreaming of....
I wanna decided something on my own, treasure what i want , and have what i wanna have..
it really seems beautiful to live alone,free,,w/o any expectation form others,,,ga ad yg kepo2,,ngeliatin ap yg kita buka di web,,duh.i wanna have my own privacy..kapan yah,,i'm wondering..when is that???????????
so now,i just wanna work hard and get everything what i want.live my own life..by myself..

that's the most significant thing...WORK HARD AND BE THE BEST !!
God bless me!!................................

Today..
i'm stressed enough..........
it kills me till death
how could i done this??
it seems rather impossible..im out of my sense..im desperate..
God,,help me...

otuke??
i'm afraid till death that no one will buy my shoes....
how could i face this
i have family who also depend on this shoes,,how could i make them disappointed,,Oh God,,please help me i don't know what to do and i'm too stress to believe someone and even have someone to talk to....sometimes i miss my old life,,i wanna be back to my senior high moments,,many times just passed happily w/o any worries..i don't know i should regret this or not..God help me..i'm truly afraid,,how could ??? how could??? how could??????????????

optimistic

Yesterday,,when i saw my father sold his car,,my heart was filled with sadness and hopelessness. I saw his pain to let so something precious for him.at that time i felt useless and bad...

Up until now, there's no one bought our shoes..i believe God has different plans for me,,He has something special..He knows that the biggest thing that i want from this selling to help my family out of our debt and continue our life as before. It's rather painful to see my father doesn't have car to go to the office and he needs to take a bus or walk..it's terribly painful. After seeing, all his hard works, I realize how much i love my family especially my father, He with all his strength try to protect us and finish this money problem by his own.It's awful, because i just sit there, and I can do nothing bout this...It's just, Go knows,,how much i wanna help my father and makes him happy..I just wanna tell God, that I still believe He will do the best for us,,especially my shoes store and makes the best for us.. I believe God won't leave me alone..since, i need him the most,at times like this...please God, protect my father and my family..don't make us separate from you, nevertheless, make us closer to you and always rely on you..whatever happens in our life..thanks God..
I love you.. 

God Knows....

this is the forth day,, i have begun to sell all of my shoes..and how disappointed i am,,when in know that no one bought my shoes..They were just asking how much it is, or can i send my shoes to them, they wanna try it..and so on and so fort..I was thinking,,how could i have no one buyer?????????
it was pathetic , i guess, i thought, why i need to suffer all this...and i fell like i'm going crazy..but then,,my mom said..that i need to calm down...take a deep breath..i see, so now, i just wanna pray to God that he will listen to my prayers and he could help me through all these, since without him..i really don't know what to do..it's just so frustrating...
* God, please hear my pray and let me do my best. Please give your blessing to me,,so that i can do what is best for my work..Thanks God..^^

The Third Day ...

This is the third day since i become a shoes-seller..oh my..ternyata jual sepatu tuh ga gampang yah..pertama g pikir, gampanglah..apalgy jual lewat fb,fs, n twitter..at least i know become an independent entrepreneur is not an easy thing..^^,,thats okay..guys,,g cuma maw cerita..jd setelah g ambil sepatu2 itu dr produsennya..( yg baik bgt n berkualitas brgnya ),,g buru2 buka fb n bikin account bisnis buat sepatu g,,n singkat cerita nge-tag sepatu2 itu ke temen2 g..n u know what, i was thinking,,y gampanglah..paling besok ud ad yg beli,,n u know..there's no one asking bout my shoes,,from about 30 -40 people that i was tagged in..Stress ga sih???!!!! 

as a new comer,,g ga nyangka itu berat bgt..g hampir nangis n stress,,krn ud kluar modal yg lumayan gede utk sepatu ini...tapi my mom said, that,thats okay..you need to be more patient and keep praying..my mom said..soon or later.//people will know the quality of your shoes,,bukan cuma harganya..krn guys,,,u know..harga ga bohong!! i can make sure that....harga suatu sepatu ditentukan oleh kualitasnya....nyaman engganya,tahan lama ato ga-nya..u will know..and kenapa g berani ngmg seperti ini,,krn g maw memberi yg terbaik buat org2,,buat cewe2 terutama yg cinta sepatu..just wanna let you know..your shoes will bring you to certain place that you'll never know..N yg g mau tekankan hari ini adalh..sesusah apapun hidup kita,,apapun yg kita jalani,,ttp semangat n be happy, don't let fear make you down..be positive and keep smiling..

God Bless^^

some of my products^^ take a look